Our betta fish, Moonlight swam his last swim sometime between Saturday PM and Sunday AM. He was the first pet for our family. And while he was firmly announced as being a male, one of our littles insisted he was a girl.

My wife and I decided to embrace the feelings of the passing and gently tell each child, individually, of Moonlight’s passing.

Our middle child was overcome with sadness, and asked about getting another fish some day. This helped carry her through and she took her time processing through some tears and alone time.

Our oldest was distraught. This hit her hard. I believe in being honest about death and life and while we were straight-forward in handling this, she needed time and space and many tears to process.

The youngest seemed to respect that Moonlight had passed, but kept his emotions inside. He did small things that seemed to clue that he knew this was significant, but it didn’t impact him much. (For instance, after our ceremony, he dug two new holes with the big shovel. Presumably to be ready for the next two fish.)

Ceremony

As with all things “death of fish” related, we wanted to respect the passing but not make a big deal of it. We offered to bury Moonlight in the backyard or to flush him down the toilet. The latter option was a “non-starter” for our middle child.

I tromped through the remaining snow to get the garden shovel from the shed. And then proceeded to the very back corner of our lot. I dug a small hole and then went inside to get the family.

I wrapped Moonlight in tissue paper and we placed him in the ground and said a few words. Our middle child then suggested we decorate the burial area in honor of Moonlight. And so the kids found some rocks and took the pink flamingo from lower in the garden and placed it at the top of the burial area. As a marker.

It was all sweet and heart-breaking and re-affirming. What a treasure to be with these humans.